To Beat or not to Beat

More often than not, in traditional African societies, beating, flogging or call it whatever u may is looked upon as a means of correction. Many of us would attest to the fact that in secondary and even primary school, we were recipients of our teachers and parents benevolence through the almighty cane. I can remember some nicknames those canes had, ‘koboko’, ‘green boy’ (that one was extremely painful) and many others……does this actually work? I think not...cos in the end most students get used to it and learn how to ‘chest’ cane by devicing means such as wearing double shorts and the like….in the end, ‘spare the rod and spoil the child comes to mind and seems to make more meaning…but I believe like everything else, things should be done in moderation……


Ok, how about beating in relationships, that one I can’t condone o… any sign of violence… I advice u to flee……physical beating doesn’t just end on the outside… it ends up inflicting emotional scars on the beatee (recipient). U hear some men say that beating is the only way to force a woman into submission or to prevent her from being wayward or make her know u are in charge….whatever….
The truth is, she that will be stubborn will be n she that will be wayward will be. One thing we must all remember is that we have no power over anyone else and try as hard as u can, u just cannot change a person……if u seem to have no meeting point with ur partner, let him/her go…
Rule no 1 in every relationship should be….make the person ur friend and u’ll never go wrong.

Violence never solves anything as violence in any form breeds timidity and lack of self confidence in the receiving partner. It creates a master servant kinda relationship where one party tries to please the other to no avail……..i think that once a partner dares to raise a finger at you, he/she has no respect for you. What is it that cannot be said, why fight??? But u know the most painful part of it all, most people that are beaten regularly come up with flimsy excuses for their partner ‘o he has a temper’, ‘I started it’, ‘he doesnt like it when i……’, ‘I annoyed him’…hear them all. Excuses are just not the answer….hmm…… I think its best if we all let our mouths be our means of communication and expression rather than using our hands or objects to display our displeasure………

so much for mediation!

its like im going on a blogging rampage....but since im inspired today, i might as well blog on..........
as much as i promised myself that i wouldnt blog about city law firm.... well i just found out i have to....cos dats wat my life revolves around these days anyways....so here goes.....

why cant this office ever be dry?? well to add some spice to our office....law skool decided to send us about 10 students for chamber attachment...
hmmm.......outright disappointment! u need to see the chicks........them no try!haba!
ok, the first day they come, they r talkin to head of chambers(hoc) and one says: "Good-moh-nin sah...we were sent here by the law school for hour chambas hattachment". inwardly, im like wat da hell.....
anyway they report in their number n have daily showdowns with hoc...u know old men wahala now? why did u sign 9.00am when u came at 9.05am...bla bla bla...


trust me (busy body like me)... i am always intrigued by people n so i decided to be friendly to one or two...of course the dull brains think or thought im a lawyer(whateva), they didnt even realise they were my seniors...i mean.....



so yesterday began on a veryyy funy note.....i was to be in court with lawyer I who as u know has a multitude of woman problems(asheeeeewo.......). well he was actually scheduled to b in court n then attend a mediation session n me i had neva attended n i just had to be there.....

anyways our agreement was that we'd leave for 6.15am to beat traffic...

now here was i waiting for this crazy man to show up(well beggars arent choosers, aint it?, not his fault now...), he shows up at about 6.40am with one big lady in front and im wonderin...could dis b dat his suga mummy????hmmmm....me i just shut up n enter the back jejely.
i ask him if we r still goin to court for 9 as the meeting was for 11 n he says lawyer k was goin to court instead....im wondering...when will dis woman drop now???see my life....we pass the office in lekki n go all da way to vi extension to drop the lady at her office (some bank)....hmmm...this is someone he claimed everything was ova with (if i was stupid enuff to believe him....hmm!)........
when she disembarks, im like wow! shes really a big gal n he claims that she jus begged him to drop her (this man can lie! kai!)........



we go back to the office n when its time to leave for the meeting (as if something warned me), i call one of this our law skool gals to follow us.... hmm...see strategizing...

the meeting takes off on a good note n halfway runs into some terrible deadlock n we have to adjourn....meanwhile in the car, lawyer I has been talking big to this rookie gal about how hes jetting out for four days to Barcelona, Ibiza etc etc etc ..... d gal, lets call her rookie is looking mesmerized... apparently, shes a jjc in lagos...came from one of these state unis in the south south n is now trying to form tush(razz gal like dat!) so shes bloody impressed n even yabs me small dat i should have agreed for him (i'm like see dis one oh).....anyways lawyer I has about 100k in his car n is trying to shine with d money (which i coul bet my life wasnt his)....he sayshe wants to buy food for us n takes us to ghana high(supergirl n ozaveshe.....hmmm)....then in his usual waka waka style, he says he has to touch one or two places.....



we stop at a bank in ikoyi n he gets down, myself n rookie decide to wait for him in d car... i notice a car sharply reversing into the bank....two big ladies behind....hmmm....guess who?lawyer i's banker gal(suga mumi) n her friend.....alleluyah!!!!!im not the only one in the car, if not sugar mums n her friend would hv thot i was their new rival.....they dont come out of the car n suga mum smiles n asks me if lawyer i was in the bank, i say yes n remove my face....so u can imagine lawyer i's greatest shock whe he comes out of the bank n sees suga mumi n her friend...he looks ruffled, is forced to enter their car n chat, comes out boning n collects like 20k outta dat money n gives dem n they leave n lawyer I claims d money was for lunch...see serial liars...



in between waiting for lawyer I, rookie was with me....typical runs gal....phone was beeping 24/7, one man after anoda.....wat kind of wacky people did i go out with sef? den i recall dat i've been seeing a series of jeeps(mercedes, hummer......) coming to wait for her.... but the funny thing is dat it was the same yellow man that kept coming in dis difft cars... he comes at 9am, 2-3pm, 5pm(no job)...but apparently affluent...so my conclusions were he was either into serious 419, drugs or rituals n of course he looks VERY married. as i like gist, i asked her if the dude was her boyfriend and she says yes but shes tired of him...see scopes o! the guy calls and is giving her hell about being at our office n she not being there...here's the conversation btwn rookie n her bobo, mr prince



rookie:Babeeee, why are u talkin like dis?

prince:.......................

roookie: but babee u know im not in the chambas now, eh, baby stop embarazzing mee

prince:.............

rookie: baby, dont pik quarrel with me, because i know your trick, iz my betday on monday n u must give me present

at this point im crackin up n im like God when r we gettin back??

rookie: ok babee, do u bring the humma jeep? babee wait now.....



useless gist, im gettin irritated at the level of this girls IQ n thot processing and im like lawyer I where the hell r u?..... anyways lawyer I finally turns up n we head for the office.

by this time, its 4pm n im like bloody hell, we left the bloody meeting at 12.50pm......

wow!so much for a mediation session!

our greatest fears

ok folks.......im sure no one bothers to check this post cos of my epileptic writing....what do i blame it on this time....em...i have run out of excuses....but the important thing is...i'm back n thats that....
i was just thinking about this sometime ago n it just became clear to me that no matter how hard we try to hide it, we all have secret fears. to others they might be insignificant but to you, well its a great bother.........let me share some.

i often fear that......

1. i may not live long ( o God, i dont want to die in my prime)
2. i may be in the wrong profession(well....)
3. i may end up with the wrong man (God Forbid!)
4. i may be setting too high standards when it comes to certain things (well, that may be good in its own way)
5. i may not be what people think i am (weird, abi?)
6. i may be placing emphasis on the wrong things ( a lot of times)
7. i may let a diamond slip out of my hands cos i am being choosy ( where the diamonds @?)
8. i may not be as close to God as i should (....well....judgement day might be tough for me!)
9. i may lose my parents soon ( God not yet!)
10. i may find myself in situations where i am totally helpless (i hate being at people's mercy)

i could go on...but let me stop here....why dont u tell me some of urs??

Hustle and Bustle-more office blues!

i'd like to divert my thots to lighter topics, i find it hard to do all dis emotional things, so i'm back to where i started from-my office.

funny, its been two months already. wow!time does fly indeed!!!! ok.....wats the point in being an intern if u dont do some outta-office runs as per goin to court n all dat .
infact im jus back from da state high court n as usual....court didnt sit.....ooooooo!dis people r makin me dislike litigation particularly d way its done here in nija what with all the adjournments......

anyhow, the good thing about these trips is dat u get to know d lawyer better. better in d sense dat u guys r at closer quarters, sitting in d same car n in d same traffic n then i go, wat do u think about bla bla.....n then u hear all sorts....right now, i'd like to think of myself as a custodian of the office peeps best kept secrets....

men i've been hearing all : from lawyer M loves to beat his wife( yet he's a cathechist) and worst still he was trying to get Lawyer D to screw him with a promise of a trip to S.A(no naira in his pocket o!), and then worst still lawyer M is meant to be the deputy head of chambers, apparently, hes got nothing in his tiny brain.....i've been hearing about all his court blunders n it would intrigue those of u who know wat im talkin about to know that lawyer M could not even move a motion in court....sad!

now to lawyer T(Mr.Pedigree, his daddy was a one time judge who was trained in all da ivy league skools in jand so we wont drink water for him n he himself was in jand for 5 years....get da drift) anyways Lawyer T'Ss car is a write-off as we speak. he apparently was comin home from a friday nite out with da boys n then accordin to him, his brakes failed.yeah rite! i heard another version from lawyer Z, he was tryin to avoid an old lady n in so doin, his car lost control....u see wat drink does.....halucination in the first order! which kain old woman???? excessive alcohol.........anyways...thank the good lord, he got out unscathed.....meanwhile the car is doin time with LASTMA and lawyer T is attending to some family summons in the east....the demurrage that car would have accumulated.....but as he says, his big boy car is comin from america by the end of the mth.... anyhowys we go wash am!!!! reckless living, aint it?

to our liar liar uncle and lawyer, lawyer I who is 40 goin on 25, get my drift?????lawyer I is on leave, but still shows up from time to time. guess his trying to wrap up some deals....hustler like him....anyways, on d day he shows up, im da only one in d office, cos dis is leave period n d rest r in court. he says i should follow him to place Exotica for lunch n well i didn't hv a choice(u know me now!).we get to place exotica n d owner's dere n they begin a yeye chit-chat.mr owner is giving me d eye n im sure in his rotten mind he's thinkin,'kai, lawyer I don hammer' 'who's dis smallie?"(dis is how dey talk mind u), then they begin a yeye conversation about why women cheat n throw the question to my humble self.... see all dis old men o... so i tell them that myriad of factors could b responsible: lack of affection, power or position seeking, outright promiscuity....bla bla bla.... in my brain im thinkin 'where's the freakin food"???? then Mr owner asks Lawyer I where he'd be spending his vacation (from all indications, Lawyer I is amongst otha things, PartnerB's pimp n he lives off women...so where in d world would he get money for vacation travel now?).Lawyer I replies dat he's goin to jand of course n then would probably end up at his fave travel destination, Kuala Lumpur(who dash?)i almost choked....kuala what? maybe he jus read about it sha....luckily food came n that was then end of a session of useless talk....


then my newest pally, Lawyer Z,he's one of d office's youngest n hes married! suprised(well he had to cos chick got pregnant, ha daddy is a bidg rtd general, his daddy is a bank chairman, so.......well he jus had to marry, he couldnt 'open eye' and deny).they married 4mths ago n chick has traveled to give birth already.yeah...lawyer Z is a nice dude, but seems very standoffish n unapproachable on sight....anyways Lawyer Z was trying his best to invite me out. there r regular friday trips which Partner B organizes. his entourage usually consists of his fateful servant, lawyer I and the newest additions Lawyers T & Z. Partner B cant go out wiv anyhow peeps now...anyways lawyer Z was tryin to convince me to pieces on the need for comin out on friday n i was like, for wat now???me i cant do those things their girls do now, so they should rest cos im most def not cut out for hobnobing with yeye older married guys who think they can hv fun with gals 10-15 yrs younger cos of the naira in their pockets....

ok....i think ill sign off now..............hope the office still remains intrestin(u bet it would!)

Hustle and Bustle-more office blues

Random thoughts

Why?

Its hard to describe the state a girl is in
happy outside, confused inside.
Where does this confusion stem from??
How would she know?
As with all girls, a man just has to be the cause
Ok, not a man, a guy(what difference?)
Life's so funny
U want something this minute, the next you dont....
What does a girl do when her emotions are going hay wire?
She's all for him and he's like no i have to tidy up my skeletons
now the skeletons are all cleared up (so he says), Lets work things out:
girl's feelings have begun to take a downward turn.....hmm....
Was the 1yr+ wait worth it?
Everything is in place, but something is still missing...a vital thing
If only i knew what it was,
then i'd be able to take a BOLD step!

Time Lag

Hey all!!!!!!!! cant believe i havent blogged in over a month.......blame it on all sorts.....basically a series of unfolding events which would obviously b the object of discourse in my subsequent posts.........read on!