Tuesday, November 20, 2007

To Beat or not to Beat

More often than not, in traditional African societies, beating, flogging or call it whatever u may is looked upon as a means of correction. Many of us would attest to the fact that in secondary and even primary school, we were recipients of our teachers and parents benevolence through the almighty cane. I can remember some nicknames those canes had, ‘koboko’, ‘green boy’ (that one was extremely painful) and many others……does this actually work? I think not...cos in the end most students get used to it and learn how to ‘chest’ cane by devicing means such as wearing double shorts and the like….in the end, ‘spare the rod and spoil the child comes to mind and seems to make more meaning…but I believe like everything else, things should be done in moderation……


Ok, how about beating in relationships, that one I can’t condone o… any sign of violence… I advice u to flee……physical beating doesn’t just end on the outside… it ends up inflicting emotional scars on the beatee (recipient). U hear some men say that beating is the only way to force a woman into submission or to prevent her from being wayward or make her know u are in charge….whatever….
The truth is, she that will be stubborn will be n she that will be wayward will be. One thing we must all remember is that we have no power over anyone else and try as hard as u can, u just cannot change a person……if u seem to have no meeting point with ur partner, let him/her go…
Rule no 1 in every relationship should be….make the person ur friend and u’ll never go wrong.

Violence never solves anything as violence in any form breeds timidity and lack of self confidence in the receiving partner. It creates a master servant kinda relationship where one party tries to please the other to no avail……..i think that once a partner dares to raise a finger at you, he/she has no respect for you. What is it that cannot be said, why fight??? But u know the most painful part of it all, most people that are beaten regularly come up with flimsy excuses for their partner ‘o he has a temper’, ‘I started it’, ‘he doesnt like it when i……’, ‘I annoyed him’…hear them all. Excuses are just not the answer….hmm…… I think its best if we all let our mouths be our means of communication and expression rather than using our hands or objects to display our displeasure………